Bloody Mary!

Hands up if you're sick of hearing about freakin Mary Donaldson (or now Princess Mary)?

I am dammit! No it's not repressed anger, but thanks for noticing. I wonder how many people actually knew that the Dutch had a royal family before Mary? All of sudden, they have overtaken our royalty in importance! Not that I'm a huge fan of the monarchy, but come on, I mean Prince Charles was here not too long ago, how much media coverage did he get? "Prince Charles flew into Australia today, he made a speech or something, now he's gone or something" - Riveting stuff?

Everytime I turn on the TV I am forced to hear SOMETHING about Princess Mary. "Mary visited a wishing well today", "Mary fed the ducks by the pond today, where yet another adorable schoolgirl handed her a bouquet of flowers" - Who the hell cares? Give me some real coverage, I want the inside scoop on the derros out at Macquarie Fields dammit! What about the crisis in Lebanon? No, Mary comes first, then turmoil in the Middle East second! When has turmoil in the Middle East EVER taken second place?

Ok, so people think it's some modern day fairytale where an average chick, fatefully met the love of her life at a nightclub who happened to be a loaded Dutch boy who also happened to be Heir to the throne of mighty Norway! Get over it. Stop trying to live vicariously through her, this is just a phase people - you will get over it. This doesn't happen to everyone, so if you're waiting for your European Prince to come along, look no further than down the street! I'm European and my grandma always tells me that I'm her Prince! So I may not have all the money, the looks or the ranking in the world, but a Prince none-the-less.

What is this world coming to? High-profile celebs are the only people that seem to matter. Now I'm not jealous, just a little cranky, I mean there is more to life than idolising people for doing nothing. Could Princess Mary be the next Mother Theresa? I don't think so, but unless she is, then her media coverage just isn't justified - and I don't care even if she is a true blue Aussie battler!

Thats all.

Im a Woman, Hear Me.. Drive My 4WD!

Soccer mums beware, the Tiger is back to Blog!

My dear friends, this is an issue very close to my heart and I'm sure many, if not all of you agree that 4WD's are highly unpractical & extremely dangerous weapons of the road (when steered by the wrong hands). Now I know I'm going to lose a few female fans here, but women (and i refer to those who do not have buzz cuts, nose rings, tattoos or are not referred to by the street name of 'Butch') should not be allowed to operate such vehicles. It just doesn't make sense.

Lets take a look at the origin of 4 wheel drives. Back in a day when roads were dodgy & Australia was as rural as Rawanda, there was definately a need for a car that could not only drive on-road, but also off-road, over hills and over animals. Over the years the beloved 4WD as it is typically known has taken on a more glitzy appearance & has been marketed more for it's luxurious trim & its ability to seat 7 or more passengers - "great for big families" the ads remark, "big enough to fit all your groceries in" they gloat. What has happened to the old-skool bush-bashing truck? I mean, these things are equipped with all-terrain tyres, massive bullbars, towbars & fog lights, yet where are the scratches? Where are the mud-stains? Where are the bloodstains on the grill? Surely 95% of the 4WD's driven by soccer mums in the Sydney metropolitain area have never seen the great outdoors. It's a bloody outrage & it's very bloody un-Australian! They did a survey not to long ago & the area in NSW with the highest number of 4WD's per capita was Mosman - MOSMAN people! Watch out for thos sand-dunes out Mosman way, they're killer. So many obstacles, heaps of massive animals that just dart out onto the road - you can never be too safe in Mosman!

"Gee mum, i need to get to soccer training!" - Dont fear Billy, mum has a 4WD, no more waiting in traffic, just bulldoze a car or two, maybe a house or even a kangaroo; she'll get you to soccer training dammit!

Now I know alot of you will argue its more about safety than any other issue. Fair enough, i totally agree. But what I dont understand is, shouldn't the innocent be protected from bad drivers? Then why the hell aren't they the ones behind the wheel of 4WD's these days? It's like giving a serial killer a gun and letting him loose on a kindi class!

"Hunny, i sorta had an accident. There's a tiny scratch on my tow-bar, but i killed a whole family." Says wife. "Well my dear, as long as you're alright, that's all that matters; luckily we got that Landcruiser!" Says hubby. Who knew that over-taking a family of 4 on a 2-lane one-way road could have been so dangerous?

Let's pain the picture here; They cant park these things, they cant keep them in the confines of a single lane & they certainly do not know how to keep to a friggin' speed limit! I mean, do they come equipped with a special device that prevents 4WD drivers from going faster than 10 under the limit? Dammit, get these women off the road!

Okay, okay! Time to justify myself, to save further argument and to prove im not a shauvenistic pig, I admit, there are a few lady drivers out there who can run rings around your average bloke (and myself) when it comes to sheer driving ability, but the stats are there, women who drive large capacity vehicles have a higher chance of causing an accident than a bloke does in a fast car - it's a proven fact (don't quote me on it, but I'm sure it exists)! Upon this, I base my argument.

Thats all.